Dear Aunty Lisa
I am a single guy aged 34, and dating a ƨǝx worker at one of the local lodges.
She only works at the place once a week as she is trying to pay off her student loan.
She is in college and on attachment at a certain company, but the allowance is not much, so she supplements her income by doing this sort of work.
She is 23.
There was an instant connection between us.
I have never had a serious relationship before, save for one-night stands.
In the past I used ƨǝx workers for my gratification, but the connection between me and this girl is something else.
She is amazing.
I told her that we should meet again, but she said she could not guarantee that.
I did not pressurise her.
She was on my mind constantly, so I went back after three weeks, and amazingly, she was working.
I told her that I was falling in love with her.
She said she could not get emotionally attached to me because her boss keeps a close eye, checking that they do not become close to clients.
The last girl who fell for a client was fired.
I don’t want to leave this girl working there.
She is perfect for me.
Mike
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Aunty Lisa Respond:
Dear Mike
I understand that you have developed strong feelings for the ƨǝx worker you’ve been seeing, and you’re hoping for a deeper connection with her. However, it’s important to approach this situation with caution and consider certain factors.
Firstly, it’s crucial to acknowledge the nature of her work and the potential limitations it may impose on your relationship. The fact that she is a ƨǝx worker means she has professional boundaries to adhere to, including not becoming emotionally attached to clients. It’s essential to respect her boundaries and the rules set by her employer.
Given her circumstances, it’s understandable that she is supplementing her income through this work to pay off her student loan. However, you should have an open and honest conversation with her about her long-term goals and aspirations. Discuss her plans for the future and how her current situation may evolve once she completes her studies.
Remember that relationships need to be built on mutual respect, trust, and shared values. While you may feel a strong connection with this woman, it’s important to evaluate whether your expectations and desires align in the long run. Consider what you both want from a relationship and whether you have compatible goals and lifestyles.
Ultimately, you must respect her choices and decisions. If she feels that it’s not possible for her to become emotionally attached due to her work circumstances, it may be necessary to accept her stance and reassess your own expectations.
It might be beneficial to explore other avenues for meeting potential partners where you can establish a connection that aligns with both of your goals and values. This could involve engaging in activities, hobbies, or social circles where you have the opportunity to forge deeper connections with others who are more readily available for emotional attachment.
Take the time to reflect on your own experiences and what you truly desire in a relationship. It’s important to prioritize your own emotional well-being and choose a path that will bring you fulfilment in the long run.
Best of luck
Aunty Lisa
