Dear Aunty Lisa
I am a 32-year-old woman and I am married to the l0ve of my life who is 36. We have a 6-year-old son. My mother passed on three years ago and her sister was appointed as sarapavana wangu.
In as much as I appreciate this cultural gesture, I am getting fed up. She has her own children but now she wants to take advantage of me.
The truth is I am tired of her demands and weird requests. Towards the end of last year she was not speaking to me because I had failed to buy her a fridge after hers had broken down. I do not have much mufunge. These days most people do their groceries in bulk when they get paid because of the economic challenges.
When I do this I just get the very basics but when she passes through my house she takes whatever she wants as if she is in a free supermarket. My mother was never like that although she had all the freedom in the world. She would instead make an effort to bring goodies for my son and even spoil me. It is very rare for mainini to phone and ask how we are doing. I ignore some of her calls because I already know if I pick up it will be just another request.
She is now sending texts and trying to communicate via other means like WhatsApp. If she fails to reach me, she contacts my husband. These three years have been hard for me. How can I stop this? One day I suggested she ask for money from one of her daughters because I did not have it, that day all hell broke loose. Is this how it should be? She even threatened to disown me saying mai vako vane vakoma nevani’ina vatatu sarudza waunoda. I wish I had been given the choice of choosing who my sara pavana would be. Can I ask my sekurus to appoint another one or should I choose another? Please help I now keep my groceries under lock and key kuita sendinogara nembavha.
