The news broke like a late tackle, leaving South African rugby fans reeling: Siya and Rachel Kolisi, the power couple of the Springboks, are separating. Their joint statement, released recently, spoke of “love, respect and understanding,” painting a picture of amicable parting.
Yet, beneath the surface of carefully crafted words, lies a story far more complex, one woven with the threads of international moves, relentless pressure, and the quiet erosion of a once-unbreakable bond.
The announcement followed a revealing interview Rachel gave on The African CEO podcast. While discussing her demanding life – juggling motherhood (to two biological children and Siya’s adopted siblings), leading the Kolisi Foundation, and enduring three house moves in a single year – a weariness permeated her words.
The weight of her words hinted at unspoken struggles, foreshadowing the impending announcement. Asked what she’d tell her 18-year-old self, she offered a gentle, “It’s going to be okay,” a statement starkly contrasting with the palpable unease in her expression.
The family’s tumultuous journey began with Siya’s move from the Stormers to the Sharks, then onto Racing 92 in Paris, before a return to the Sharks. This constant upheaval, especially the Parisian chapter, appears to have played a significant role in the couple’s unraveling. While some suggested Rachel struggled with homesickness in a country known for its challenges for foreigners, a source close to the Springbok camp revealed Siya faced greater difficulties.
He endured a series of injuries, a period Racing’s president, Jacky Lorenzetti, described as “harmful” to the Bok captain. Siya himself admitted to feeling “anonymous” on the field, struggling with his form and acknowledging a 5kg weight gain during his time sidelined. Lorenzetti’s public criticism of Siya’s weight further inflamed the situation, sparking outrage among South African rugby fans and the Bok camp.
“After the season I knew I wanted to come home,” Siya stated. Rachel, having just settled their children into school, recounted the whirlwind three-day packing process, describing it as a “roller coaster.”
A source close to the couple suggests the return to South Africa was primarily driven by Siya’s marital struggles rather than solely his challenging time in France.
“He told us he wasn’t happy in Paris. We thought it was about the food – he couldn’t get the food he liked and he couldn’t hang out with his friends back home. Rachel adapted to France better than he did,” the source explained.
Further signs of strain emerged in the couple’s social circles. Rachel, once a central figure among the wives and girlfriends of Siya’s teammates, had reportedly distanced herself from the group.
“We haven’t seen her in the past three months. We assumed she was busy with the move and the kids,” the insider revealed.
This absence now appears to reflect a deeper rift within the relationship.
Their story began in 2012, a far cry from the pressures of their later years. A chance encounter at a Stellenbosch dinner after a rugby match marked the beginning of their romance. Siya, then 21, was in another relationship, though he later described it as insignificant. Both hailing from the Eastern Cape – Rachel from Makhanda and Siya from Zwide near Gqeberha – their initial meeting was marked by a humorous anecdote.
“She thought I was rude because I didn’t greet her properly,” Siya recalled in a YouTube video detailing their courtship. Their friendship blossomed, with Siya describing Rachel as bringing “calmness” into his life, a sentiment echoed in his autobiography, Rise. Their first official date at Cape Town’s V&A Waterfront solidified their connection.
“There were many reasons why I liked her but one of the biggest reasons was because she didn’t need me. There were girls who fell over themselves because you are a professional sportsman but Rachel wasn’t one of them,” Siya explained.
Rachel’s unwavering support for Siya’s rugby career became evident.
“She went to all the games. She was always there,” the insider confirmed. News of their relationship reached Siya’s previous girlfriend, who reportedly remarked, “Siya will be Siya” alluding to his reputation for attracting attention from other women.
Their journey together accelerated rapidly. A year into their relationship, Rachel fell pregnant with their son, Nicholas Siyamthanda. Born prematurely at 32 weeks, Nicholas became “our miracle,” Rachel often described him. Siya, initially apprehensive about settling down, ultimately embraced his responsibilities, viewing it as a “must-marry situation.”
The family expanded further with the adoption of Siya’s siblings, Liyema and Liphelo, transforming Rachel into a mother of three within just three months. “But I wouldn’t change anything about our story,” she stated.
Their lavish wedding in 2016, a glamorous affair documented by Top Billing, cemented their status as South Africa’s rugby royalty. A year later, their daughter Keziah was born. Rachel’s embrace of Siya’s Xhosa culture, evident in her social media presence, endeared her to the nation.
Her unwavering support at the 2019 and 2023 Rugby World Cups further solidified their image as a united front. In 2020, they launched the Kolisi Foundation, focusing on women’s empowerment and providing hope. Siya’s career soared, earning him recognition as one of Time magazine’s 100 most influential people.
Despite their outward success, their relationship wasn’t without its challenges. Siya’s growing fame attracted unwanted attention, leading to several public incidents. Rachel’s initial fiery responses on social media gradually gave way to a more composed approach.
“I used to let online comments upset me. I would get fiery and respond back. Now I realise I’m a mom and a CEO so I stay out of those things,” she admitted.
One notable incident involved a social media confrontation with a model who claimed Siya had contacted her. Siya himself acknowledged past struggles with “temptations, sin, lifestyle choices and pornography” in his autobiography.
He also detailed financial difficulties in his early career, attributing them to excessive alcohol consumption. His commitment to Christianity, alongside Rachel, marked a turning point.
Their recent holiday in the Kruger National Park, just weeks before the separation announcement, painted a picture of a family seemingly intact. Yet, the carefully constructed image concealed a deeper fracture, leaving South Africa to ponder the complexities of a high-profile relationship that ultimately succumbed to unseen pressures.
The Kolisi’s story serves as a reminder that even behind the glittering facade of success, the human heart can be a battlefield of its own.
