In the sterile world of hospitals, nurses are often seen as symbols of care and compassion. Clad in white, with a warm smile, they offer comfort to patients and their families. But behind the professional facade, a different reality emerges for some women in Zimbabwe.
Driven by a combination of disillusionment with relationships and a desire for financial security, a growing number of women are turning to a controversial practice: charging for dates.
Nokuzola Nkiwane (not her real name), a 27-year-old nurse at a local private clinic, started down this path after a series of failed relationships, each marked by betrayal.
“I would meet men, date them and they would promise me heaven on earth but soon enough they would start acting funny and most of the time I would catch them cheating,” she said.
“That hurt but I was still hoping for love. I would break up with the guy and with time meet a new one who would eventually do the same thing. I felt short-changed and decided to turn the tables. If I won’t get love and affection then I can at least benefit financially from these relationships.”
Nokuzola’s younger sister, Andile (not her real name), a 24-year-old beautician, followed in her footsteps, drawn to the allure of quick cash and a sense of control.
“Seeing how my sister’s lifestyle changed for the better after she started exchanging sex for money, I became interested as well. The appeal of quick cash was intoxicating, and the power dynamic was strangely empowering. I am in control, setting the terms and payment,” she said.
Nyarai Mangwiro (not her real name), a 28-year-old customer service representative, also supplements her income in this way. She believes men should pay for sexual encounters.
“It only makes sense for these men to pay for sleeping with me. Men are smart and they will tell us women what we need to hear. They will profess their undying love for us even if all they want is sex.
“When you are in a relationship, he will give you US$50 or even less per month but he will expect to sleep with you for the entire month. I’m very upfront about what I want, I tell the man that anytime you want to see me, make sure you have money or else I won’t be available, that way all my needs are met,” she said.
Nyarai admits that sometimes she meets a man she genuinely likes and dates him, even though he may not be as financially generous. However, as a single mother, she often finds herself reverting to her old ways, leading to complications and relationship breakdowns. “Sometimes I get caught cheating and the relationship ends,” she said.
This trend has created a new dynamic in dating, leaving some men bewildered and questioning the nature of relationships. Bekezela Ndiweni was shocked when a woman he admired demanded money for their time together.
“She was intelligent, humorous, and possessed an aura of mystery that intrigued me. We met at a book club, a chance encounter that blossomed into what I thought was a promising relationship. But then came the request, it was direct, blunt, and utterly shocking. She said she liked me but wasn’t interested in a relationship. She said I would have to give her a minimum of US$30 every time I wanted to spend time with her. To say I was shocked is an understatement,” he said.
Godfrey Nyikadzino, another Zimbabwean man, believes this trend has been going on for a long time.
“These women that we meet, especially in bars during the weekend, are selling sex and sometimes we go with them, sleep with them and part with various amounts of money ranging from US$20 to US$100 depending on how high she is on the social hierarchy,” he said.
“From the outside, it’s a world of envy, lavish homes and designer clothes, all financed by this secret economy. I’m not one of these women and I’m no expert but they must yearn for something more than money and the fear of exposure must be haunting them.”
The women involved in this lifestyle share similar fears – loneliness, exposure, and the inability to escape.
They are caught in a cycle of seeking financial security and battling the stigma associated with their choices. While some may enjoy the financial benefits and sense of control, the underlying desire for genuine connection and love remains a constant.
